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If there truly is barely to no sexual intimacy in your marriage, this is not something to feel guilty about wanting. My wife has a very hard time even engaging in a conversation about sex. Other spiritual women have shared with her, but she doesn’t improve. It’s not about the sex, it’s about intimacy, It think. Reply Hi Tom, A sexually growing relationship is ultimately what I have discovered in my work with couples, is what makes it satisfying. When the sexual relationship remains the same, the same style, the same pattern for years that’s when it becomes unsatisfying.

Continue to keep the lines of communication with your spouse open and figure out as a marital team what can be done about this particular challenge. If I try to say anything to improve our sex life she immediately becomes defensive and says “Maybe you should find somebody who has nothing better to do.” Which breaks my heart because I would never want to do that to her. I’m a senior minister in a growing church thats depending on my integrity and leadership. Haven’t cheated, but I’m baffled that men who do get a bad wrap, when the faithful, bill paying, cooking father gets frustration. You are certainly doing the right thing by communicating with her in an honest way that you are longing for more.

I do not have sexual needs, as far back as I can recall I never really did. Or, the scenario rather is: I never had a large sex drive, but it was certainly more than it currently is.

My wife does have sexual desires and she is longing for sexual activity with me. I just don’t have an interest in being sexual with my wife, although I did at one time.

I do have some sexual desire, but not as much as him. So we rarely talk about our lack of sexual intimacy. Several months pass at a time and maybe we’ll have sexual intimacy once, to then go several more months perhaps a year or longer before we will be intimate again. He either: a) goes for massages with a “happy ending”, b) has had, is having, or is considering having an affair, c) will eventually leave the marriage once the kids are older, or d) lives sexually unfulfilled and masturbates (which leaves him unfulfilled), despite this he remains.

I do love him, I want to remain married to him, but I wish he would leave me alone sexually. But on occasion he does bring our lack of sexual intimacy up in conversation still. The lack of sexual fulfillment, the lack of sexual intimacy, actual sexual deprivation is a real thing.

Feeling sexually deprived in marriage is not uncommon.

The myth is that it is only married men who feel sexually deprived.

If your spouse is sexually deprived, do something about it. And then, feel good that you did something for your spouse. Appears nationally on FOX News Channel and FOX Business Network. Additionally has appeared on: ABC's GMA, Lifetime, Discovery Network, MTV, Steve Harvey TV Show, and more. Karen provides her expertise on: NBC News Boston, NECN, ABC Boston, FOX News Boston; Ask Dr. Reply Thank you for taking the time to share your story Mark. I am hopeful that your writing in response to this article may open the door to a healthy dialogue between you and your wife. As a husband who loves his wife to have her suggest you look elsewhere, I am sure hurts you greatly and invalidates your needs. I would suggest that you consider starting in a different spot. You mention lunch hours and times when you are alone that sexual thoughts or gestures don’t come to her.Recommendation For Scenario A and B: Whether your life has more similarity to scenario A or scenario B, or no similarity to either scenario and is your own unique scenario but under the topic header of ‘sexual deprivation’ due to a little to non existent sexual relationship with your spouse, the bottom line is the same.The bottom line is: if you are married and one of the members within the marital unit would like to have a sexually intimate marriage, and the other does not wish to, this is a conflict that is not silly. This is a problem that affects the person who feels sexually deprived, the person’s mate, and the couple unit.Longing for sexual intimacy left unfulfilled in quantity and quality is a challenge, and a taboo topic for many. This blog article is not a discussion about different desires in frequency.As a Psychotherapist who has been providing marriage counseling since 1993 I will share with you this secret; if you and your spouse lead an inactive sexual relationship, and your mate is not asexual, then your mate is not happy about this lack of intimacy. Nor is this article focusing on couples who are generally sexually active but the quality is not as fulfilling as one or both desires.

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